| My Fairytale Space |
[Jun. 7th, 2020|05:46 pm] |
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| Example |
[Aug. 28th, 2010|06:39 pm] |
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| How About That Weather |
[Jun. 7th, 2010|06:24 pm] |
Its been awhile, but what do you expect?! The last place I joined one of these community places was a dud...mostly because I couldn't keep up with the idle chatter. I do idle chatter better in person, maybe. Who knows what I do in person anymore!? I am currently busy moving again, imagine that? Last June I was thinking about this place in Colorado and I couldn't get it out of my head. I actually convinced three of my clients to have weddings there so I could be there. Insane right? Totally a Mary move. Eventually I just accepted the inevitable and moved. Maybe its the last time, probably not. I got THE most adorable looking Victorian cottage just across the river. My mother is here helping me unpack. I mean, I don't know what I was thinking bringing her here, but there it is. She is here. Last night we went out and she was shivering like a mad woman. Its not THAT cold up here yet...hell its summer!
Have I ever said that reporters look in a crowd and find the most senseless person available to interview? You know, the one with their pants halfway down their knees, with a snot rag hanging out their nose. Or that one lady who is OBVIOUSLY homeless but hey....why not the over sized woman huddled into a parka like she will freeze to death at the first sign of moisture? Yep, here comes the TV crew and cameraman and I am grabbing her arm, trying to redirect....too late...she saw them.
Reporter: Excuse me ma'am...how do you feel about this heat wave?
Mary: -as she is struggling out of her coat- It's horrible! I can't get cool anywhere....I hate to even come out of the house. Its hot as hell in there too...no where is safe from the heat (Sure isn't, not with that heavy coat on!)
Reporter: What's brought you out today?
Mary: Had to take my daughter to the bank...we are getting her her first account! (I JUST MOVED HERE FIRST ACCOUNT HERE IN COLORADO!!! Course she didn't make that clear)
Reporter: So next time you hear about the heat wave, what are your plans?
Mary: Stay in where it's cool and nice! (didn't she just say it was hot there too??)
-Sigh- I just let her have her time in the spot light so we could get on with the day. She talked about it all the way to the bank and back. Suddenly the heat wave was big news....when an hour and half ago she was freaking about sudden snow storms. Wow, how about that weather?! |
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| Mothers, Marriage, and Mayhem |
[Mar. 7th, 2010|06:29 pm] |
I absolutely hate being late. I mean, I am a friendly enough girl. I get along with most people most of the time. But sometimes I just wanna...to the MOON!
So my mother...decides to come and visit me. Here it is, Mary drives me batty. I love her, she is my mother, but sometimes I wanna put my head in a freezer and just scream until the ice freezes my brain! Not only am I bogged down with the three weddings planned this week, but now I have to cart her around and when I say cart, I mean it. She is an avid shopper, which is funny when you think about it because she never has money. But after two days stuck in my condo while I ran errands, I felt bad. So I tell her..."Mom, come on lets go out." And she is all about it because she knows I am volunteering a shopping trip for her. She loves a Wal-Mart...but sadly there is no Wal-Mart on the island so I have to find the next best thing. Hanalei Center is as close to a department store as it gets and so we get there around nine in the morning and I take up the rear. "Go on mom, have a ball..get whatever you want." Because hey, this is her trip not mine. I need nothing here anyway. So she asks me about the color of shirts, the size of her pants, the cut of this shoe or that and then tries to buy me stuff. I try to refocus her on herself and her shirts, pants, and shoes but no...she wants to buy me an inflatable alligator with a red neck tie.
WHY!? What is with the senseless purchasing?! Finally...FINALLY we get in line and I am standing there, praying she thinks of nothing else she wants and she turns to me and says. "Wow, only two hours, I am usually in a Wal-Mart three or four." And I am staring at her like...really?
Me: Mom, what do you do in a Wal-Mart for three hours?!
Mary: Walk down the isles, look at things.
Me: We did that here....
Mary: No, we didn't go down every isle.
And I can feel the terror coming because maybe she decides she wants to go back and go down every isle. NOOO PLEASE NO! Luck is MINE and she turns to buy her things and the inflatable alligator with the red tie. On the way out she jumps into one of those...carts that are like cars for handicap people....and I am standing there, wondering why? She didn't use it the whole time we were shopping and when I point that out she gives me a blank stare and says. "Well my feet hurt now." YOUR FEET HURT?! That is not a handicap MARY!
I knew if I said anything then it would lead to more insanity. Sometimes with her I just have to shut up and say nothing.
If anyone thinks the insanity of my family is preferable to the insanity of a bridzilla, please read over once more.
I got into a car accident and almost ruined one of the weddings or at least wasn't there to save it. I saved it though, through the phone! Got a ticket for...something or other. I need to look that over, I just took it and got out of there.
I need an assistant like..bad.
Sometime next year, I plan on resting. |
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| Blackberry ~~>~~@ |
[Apr. 7th, 2009|06:27 pm] |
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Is it insane I am doing this from my blackberry? I think it is, I almost bumped into three people. Miami is great, it always has been. I loved doing weddings here last year. I had three. Who am I kidding, I love everywhere I go. My favorite place though? Colorado. This couple had picked this adorable little town between the mountians. The snow was everywhere and the sun sparkled off of it. It was one of the most beautiful places I have ever been. I should add it to my destination portfolio. Yes, lets put that on my to do list, as if it weren't long enough already. For all my intentions of getting on this thing to meet people, I haven't met a single person. Which is probably good, this week I am swamped.
I have to go to the dress shop today and help Marion with her fitting and then a meeting with a new couple. I really need an assistant. I've been looking for months but I think there is something about me that makes them all politely say "Hell No." Politely of course. I gotta go, I just knocked a guy with a slurpie over..
OH WAIT...Mary. So she knows I am terribly busy. It's like she doesn't care. I do love her any everything. I call her as often as I can...honest. Anyway this week she called me like six times. Texted me a whole bunch of messages that looked like this: hey cor its mom hugs 2 u n you cal me soon befor 4 pm est time zone.
What the crap!? Now I got a time limit on when to call her? And really? Hugs to me? I don't know, so I was busy so I just kept ignoring them until I had a minute and then this morning I get this one: cor i text n cal whole lot ths wek dont forget remember u mother.
First of all, let's just skip over all the things gramatically insane about that text. Instead, I call her and while I am running around getting dressed, food in my mouth, and hurrying out the door to meet with a client....my mother is berating me for not calling her. Telling me about her sister's horses. Apparently she is visiting in Kentucky or something. Then she tells me to hang up so she can send me a picture. It seems ridiculous really, but whatever Mary. I hang up, grateful that for the next few minutes I can drive, sip my coffee, and center myself for the meeting.
Then the picture comes in. It's a picture of my aunts screensaver that is a picture of her horse....
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WHY NOT JUST TAKE A PICTURE OF THE HORSE?!
End.
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